Message to Russell

The Seahawks suffered a loss to the division - rival Rams that they really should have had. Marshawn Lynch's mother says that offensive coordinator, Darrell Bevell, should be fired, and I agree. For those of you who are in the "know,"Russell Wilson has said that God spoke to him after the Super Bowl pass of great infamy, when the 'Hawks lost the game. He said God said that he was "testing him."

Well, now meanddoctorwu.blogspot.com is the first to report that God texted our offices today with the following statement.



Dear Russell, 

It's me. Lord of Lord, King of King's, Yaweh, also known as Jah, The Alpha and the Omega, and sometimes as Bad Ass of the Universe.

This is an order to cease and desist in the following;

1. Shut up and try winning a ballgame once every seven months. You looked rustier than a 1970's Neil Young album.
2.Convince Kam Chancellor to come back. The defense looked like the Toledo Mud Hens on the game tying pass. The Seahawks can't cave in to him because of this new thing called The Salary Cap, which has been around for 20 years.
3. Sleep with your hot girlfriend, the pop star, Cialis. What the hell is wrong with you?
4. Stop telling people I spoke to you during the Super Bowl! It makes you look like a whack-a-doo. And it makes me look like a wanker. With all the things wrong on your planet, putting you on a level with Moses, over a football game! It just makes me look shallow.

Smitingly Yours,

Yaweh

PS. Just a note. In the spirit of full disclosure, I apologize for tobacco, ostriches, avocados (the pits are too big) and incorrectly pronouncing Ciara.