What's Next?

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
- Charles Dederich

July 1, 2015. I was laid off yesterday at LSD Pumpkin. So my job search officially starts mañana, hardcore. Say it with me people, because it feels so good;

"GOOD-BYE SALES!"

What lies ahead, I know not. But I care not, because I know there's got to be a better way. And the Doctor loves have me home. It's almost July 4^th anyway.

Watching the USA vs. Germany in the Women's Semi-finals. I think this one could go to penalties, 0 – 0.

In the darkness of the night, only occasionally relieved by glimpses of Nirvana as seen through other people's windows, wallowing in a morass of self-despair made only more painful by the knowledge that all I am is of my own making ... 
When everything around me, even the kitchen ceiling, has collapsed and crumbled without warning. And I am left, standing alive and well, looking up and wondering why and wherefore. 
At a time like this, which exists maybe only for me, but is nonetheless real, if I can communicate, and in the telling and the bearing of my soul anything is gained, even though the words which I use are pretentious and make you cringe with embarrassment, let me remind you of the pilgrim who asked for an audience with the Dalai Lama. 
He was told he must first spend five years in contemplation. After the five years, he was ushered into the Dalai Lama's presence, who said, 'Well, my son, what do you wish to know?' So the pilgrim said, 'I wish to know the meaning of life, father.' 
And the Dalai Lama smiled and said, 'Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?

Exactly!

Rejoice! Celebrate! We don't get too many new beginnings in our lives, and this is one. The Mets have won 4 in a row and their rookie pitcher, Steven Matz, gets the win and has 3 hits and 4 RBI in his major league debut, so anything is possible.

USA 2 GRM 0

New Life

I want a new life. I need a new life. Good-bye sales. I want to make a difference in people’s lives if I can. I want to teach. Or train.

I love to plant and to be in the garden. I bet I could learn to grow really great weed in Colorado or Washington State. I’m feeling it’s time to leave CT anyway. There are no jobs.

Last night, I finished watching Wayward Pines (love it!) and the news came on after. It was about how another employer could be getting ready to leave CT. Gov. Dannel Malloy has been abysmal with job creation. Please he spells his first name wrong.

But the Atlas Van Lines Migration Patterns study for 2013 suggests that Connecticut is losing residents faster than any other state.

Since 1993, the Evansville, Ind., based moving company has issued a yearly report detailing whether its customers who were moving across state boundaries in the previous year had moved into or out of each state.

In 2013, 60 percent of its customers who crossed the Connecticut state line were leaving the Nutmeg State, while just 40 percent were relocating here. In total, 1,230 customers moved out; 825 moved in.  From  http://blog.ctnews.com/

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Good news everyone! The Supreme Court has upheld state subsidies for the Affordable Care Act and said that gay marriage is a constitutional right. Amen! Now that breathes new life into our country.

The Stories We Could Tell

I am reading An Act of God by David Javerbaum, which was just made into a play staring Jim Parsons. It is hysterical (I needed a few laughs in my life.) When talking about Job, God wonders if Job is loyal only because of the bounty he’s received and wonders if he would still be so loyal if God had never given him any anything. “In other words: was he a Yankees fan or a Cubs fan?” Frigging hilarious. Plus, I’ve studied on read up on many of the major religions – this is a natural by-product of going to Catholic school for 17 years; you find a new religion or become an atheist. I chose Buddhism, which is more of a philosophy and has at least one foot, up to the ankle, in the atheist world. So I kind of chose both. I always was an overachiever.

I'd love to have a beer with God. If he existed. Instead, people have been killing in his name since the beginning of the human race. It's big business. Look at the Crusades! Al Quaeda. ISIS. Jim Jones. Manson. Heaven's Gate (who also castrated themselves, crazy bitches.)

The world is full of crazies and fanatics. But a beer with God? The stories he could tell.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
-The Smashing Pumpkins

The wheels have really come off the bus at work. I found out more disturbing news yesterday which just underscores the fact that this business is not going to make it. They failed to take into account the fact that the US market bears no resemblance to the European market. Add that to the fact that they’ve done zero marketing. The overall sum is a hot mess. And that bobbing head, trying to stay afloat in tidal wave of chaos, that’s me.

Black Friday

Tuesday, June 23rd

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor

 When Black Friday comesI'll collect everything I'm owedAnd before my friends find outI'll be on the road

When Black Friday falls you know it's got to beDon't let it fall on me-Steely Dan

The radio this morning said watch out for rain, hail, and vivid lightning. What the hell is vivid lightning? Webster’s Dictionary describes vivid as Perceived as bright and distinct; brilliant. Isn’t that what lightning is? Anyway, it sounds apocalyptic. I’m not going to like driving in it and Dr. Wu is not going to enjoy it when it hits Ansonia.

Doctor has grown like a weed and is now somewhere between 7 and 8 pounds, which means he’s double in size in the four months since I got him. He’s getting very long. But he still barely touches the wet food and devours the hard food.

ESPN: The Mets have lost five straight, scoring six runs over that span, and are 23-32 since their 11-game winning streak. For the season, the Mets are 10-24 on the road, having won two of 10 road series, and are 13-20 vs. non-division opponents. They're also 11-19 against teams above .500. -- Joe Janish (@metstoday),

This does not bode well for the 2^nd half. They need to get some more bats and an every-day third baseman with Wright out indefinitely. And playing some fucking defense wouldn’t hurt! 6 runs over five games? You’re killing me.

Do you take me for a fool
Do you think that I don't see
That ditch out in the valley
That they're digging just for me

And I'm going insaneAnd I'm laughing at the frozen rainAnd I'm so aloneHoney when they gonna send me home-Steely Dan

O Brave New World!

“You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?”
- Mindy Kaling

You can go your own way

- Fleetwood Mac

Monday and the winds of change are sweeping in. What the future holds for Doctor and I, I do not know. But it will be better. Brighter. Good-bye sales. Friends and family agree, it's the right move.

All salesmen are back-stabbing douche bags.

-Mel

I assumed I was not included in her sweeping statement. But I have to agree. And never have I heard this sentiment put so succinctly or eloquently. It's a brave new world; population = me.

Rinse and Don't Repeat

Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat the eleventh grade.
-James W. Loewen

Sunday is Father's day and the Summer Solstice. And thanks to Dr. Wu, I am a father again, and loving it. The other morning I was walking into the kitchen and he was racing around. He almost ran into me but gave a little "brrrrrr..." to warn me he was tear-assing through and couldn't stop. It was like a car honking it's horn. I pulled up and let him by as he raced over my bare feet.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-Seneca

I am retiring from sales. The next job is going to be something different. I didn't go to grad school to be in sales when I was in my 50's. It's time to use my teaching, training, marketing and writing skills again. 

It's not an ending. It's a beginning.

How I fucking hope!


All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
-Mae West

The Horizon

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.
-C.S. Lewis

It was a fun weekend in Jersey. Dr. Wu and I went to Mum's and had an awesome barbecue by Mel and Jan's. The good Doctor is still not very friendly to Mulligan. Mulligan just stares at him like, What the hell is wrong with you? If we convert to cat years, Mully is 84 and Dr. Wu would be 10. It's the generation gap. It even happens with cats.

The Mets won in 11 innings and Chicago won its 3rd Stanley Cup in 6 years!

Change is on the horizon. Again.

Life is change. Change is life. Scoop my box!
-Dr. Wu

I hope to land somewhere better this time. I think it's time to leave CT behind. There are more and better jobs elsewhere.

But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise. And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.
-Gary Allen

Fishing

When I grow up I want to be,
One of the harvesters of the sea.
I think before my days are done,
I want to be a fisherman.
-Primus

It's a nice thought, and I live close enough to the coast, but I think I'd need a boat. The inflatable kayak wouldn't do it. One hook in the kayak and you're done.

Another day, another dollar. I have so much on my mind. I am awash in a sea of possibilities; not all of them positive. Actually, some of them rather grim. That's life. I'm a survivor. I always make it through, even though I never know how I'll do it. Changes have to take place and it will be for the better. At least that's what I keep telling myself. It's a leap of faith. Or it's a leap off of a cliff. Same difference. It's a leap.

Heavy Weather, Fireworks and the Great Escape

We are in for some major thunder storms today. Hopefully, it will clear some of this damn pollen out of the air. If it storms in Ansonia, I may have to scoop Dr. Wu's box twice today. He is not a fan of booming thunder.

Speaking of big booms, a Florida man was mixing up fireworks with a coffee grinder and blew off both of his arms below the elbow. The good news? He won't be charged with trying to build an I.E.D. Must be his lucky day. Or not.

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin' Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there's got to be another way
-The Who

The USA women won their first World Cup match vs. Australia in impressive fashion. Megan Rapinoe had two goals and assisted on the other. And she sports a Tilda Swinton haircut, so what's not to love? The little girl who held Hope Solo's hand as the players took the field looked terrified. Guess she was old enough to read about Solo's domestic violence case.

And two murders escaped NY State's Clinton Prison (with a story that seems out of the pages of the Shawshank Redemption) and have been missing for 4 days. Their whereabouts are unknown. Prison employees are being questioned.

Reunion Weekend

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.
-The Boomtown rats

Well, it was a nice mellow birthday with the Doctor and then Reunion Weekend at Fairfield, our 25th! There weren't many people from the Class of 1990 there that I don't normally see. But 25 years is a long time. So I guess people move on. 

Doctor Wu is getting a bit more adult, in that he actually slept in my bed all night. Usually he starks stalking the birds by 6am.

The weather has been nice but the allergies have been horrible. It was the worst weekend this season. The Earth is going to kill us all someday, be it allergens, rising tides, drought, a super virus, bee colony collapse syndrome - take your pick. I'm always so cheery on Mondays.

#47

I am 47 today. I was born in the 60's baby! Tomorrow is my 25th Reunion from Fairfield University. Fuck, I am old.

Just a Shadow

Monday

For those who watch Game of Thrones, man! What an episode! The army of the White Walkers is finally on the march, and the dead are a bitch to kill. Plus, Tyrion finally meets Daenerys. I'm going to have to watch the episode again tonight.

It's June and we had a high of 54 today. Our climate is so screwed up. The Washington Post conducted a survey and found a link between conservative religious types and climate change denial. Shocker.

Was it summer when the river ran dry,

Or was it just another dam.

When the evil of a snowflake in June

Could still be a source of relief.

-Genesis

Thursday

Sorry for the delay. My life crumbling all around me has eaten up a lot of my time. But even though I am only a shadow of my former shadow, I will rise again. And I will be better, and even more shadowy.

It went so well for you

With a place right where you wanted and the ones to fill it to

But some blows break the spell

That it hits you every day until you need to hit as well

It's just a shadow of the man you should be

Like a garden in the forest that the world will never see

You have no thought of answers only questions to be filled

And it feels like hell

It all seemed fine for you

Till the struggle of ambition turned in violence upon you

Sometimes a landslide comes

If you're hiding in that avalanche you need a place to run

-Big Country